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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29867271">trust that there will be light always waiting behind</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/brilliantbanshee/pseuds/brilliantbanshee'>brilliantbanshee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Epsiode 2x08 speculation, Established Relationship, Hurt Carlos Reyes, Hurt TK Strand, M/M, Relationship Reveal, Trying to bring back season 1 Owen a bit here, Worried Carlos Reyes, and really hard to hide from parents, the boys are being soft again, they're so in love it's gross, this is not how things are going to go down but we can dream</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:28:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,492</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29867271</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/brilliantbanshee/pseuds/brilliantbanshee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>TK has gone out of his way to prove to Carlos that being a paramedic is every bit as dangerous as being a firefighter, it seems. </p><p>But Carlos will do whatever it takes to find him and bring him home safe, and he always will. Even if it means he needs to face some personal demons on the way. But it's worth it - he refuses to lose TK for anything.<br/>------<br/>A 2x08 speculative fic</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carlos Reyes/TK Strand</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>396</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>trust that there will be light always waiting behind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Will it happen like this? Probably not. But we can dream. All I can ask for is some quality Carlos and his dad content, and maybe Owen not being as shitty as he has been lately. </p><p>But because I don't trust Fox to give us that, I wrote it. </p><p>Title from "Six" by Sleeping at Last</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>TK wasn’t sure how things had gone from normal to total nightmare in a matter of seconds, but here they were. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In this case “here” meant that the pregnant woman they were meant to be helping was not in fact, pregnant and that he and his team were now being held at gunpoint in an empty parking garage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So yeah, total nightmare. And the day had started off so well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stood quietly, body tense with his hands up wishing he had been paying more attention; that he had noticed them coming from behind before they had gotten the drop on them. That he had noticed before he and his team were in danger. But he hadn’t and here they were: at gunpoint looking at a critically injured patient they were expected to save with only the gear in their medpacks. Which was especially bad, considering it seemed pretty clear that their survival depended on his. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He exchanged a glance with Nancy as he pulled open the bag to start grabbing gear, doing his best to shoot her a reassuring smile. All the while he couldn’t help but think about something Carlos had said when he had discussed becoming a paramedic with him. One of the pros, he had noted wryly as he planted a kiss on the top of TK’s head, was that at least his boyfriend being a paramedic instead of a firefighter would mean he would have to worry less. TK had rolled his eyes at the time but now he could say quite firmly that Carlos was wrong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After all, he had never been held at gunpoint as a firefighter. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>A surprise party worked best when the person who is supposed to be surprised shows up, Carlos figured. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If it were anyone else, he might have been amused. But it was TK, who was supposed to be at his parent’s house for his surprise party 40 minutes ago. Tommy and Nancy were going to bring him by after shift but instead, none of them had shown up and Carlos couldn’t shake the feeling that something was </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could see the unease growing in the eyes of some of the others too as they made the transition from amused to concerned as the time ticked by. Carlos had tried calling TK almost a dozen times now, only to get his voicemail each time. He knew that Tommy and Nancy had gotten calls too, from Judd and Marjan respectively, with the same result. Now, 40 minutes later it had moved from a feeling to a fact: something was wrong. He could see Owen off to the side of the yard now, speaking lowly into his phone as he tried to get an update from dispatch. His expression was grim and when he ended the call Carlos crossed the yard towards him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well?” he asked when he drew close enough, “what did they say?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Owen shook his head, “They can’t reach the unit, and it hasn’t been in contact for over an hour.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos could feel the fear solidifying within him even as he asked the next question, “Were they able to tell you where?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m waiting on that info now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even as he said it his phone dinged with an incoming text and Carlos craned his neck to read the address over Owen’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not too far,” he said, “if we leave now we should be there within the hour.” At Owen’s surprised look he raised an eyebrow, “What? You thought I was just going to stay here while you go look for them? Not likely.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Owen nodded and managed a small smile, “Let’s go then. We have a paramedic team to find.” </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took some negotiating but Tommy had managed to ultimately convince the people with guns that their friend would be better off receiving treatment in the ambulance rather than in the back of a van. As they packed up their supplies and got the patient ready to move to the ambulance TK’s mind was racing through all the implications. This move meant that they were planning on relocating, which meant that they would be leaving their last known location. Once they left this parking garage unless they were somehow able to check-in, dispatch would have no way of knowing where they were and they would be officially labeled as MIA. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Which was less than ideal, but did at least mean that someone would be looking for them. TK pushed the used gauze into a pile, taking care to make sure that his back was turned to their kidnappers as he reached for his neck and pulled at his necklace until the chain came undone. He slid it under the edge of the pile, where it would hopefully be spotted by anyone looking for clues. He looked up to see Nancy and Tommy both giving him curious looks. He met their eyes and mouthed, “Carlos.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once they were reported missing there was a zero percent chance that his boyfriend would not be involved in the search, he knew that without a doubt. It was subtle enough that it would hopefully pass their captors’ notice, but Carlos would recognize it instantly. It was something that would tell him that they had been here, and that they were in danger. Carlos would know that TK wouldn’t have parted with the pendant otherwise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nancy raised an eyebrow and Tommy shot him a quick smile as they finished their prep and got ready to move the patient. When they entered the ambulance and got the patient settled TK crossed to the cab and pulled himself into the driver’s seat, only to look down and get a sinking feeling. While traveling by ambulance would be ultimately better for the patient (and by extension, them) TK had also been banking on the fact that once in the ambulance there would be more opportunities to call for help. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Which was a hope quickly dashed when he saw that their radio had been ripped out, effectively eliminating the possibility of getting help that way. TK bit his lip and turned his eyes to the road in front of him as the armed man climbed into the cab beside him. “Drive,” he instructed plainly and TK complied, switching on the engine and shifting the vehicle into gear, acutely aware of the gun leveled at his chest the entire time. Getting shot was not an experience he had been looking forward to relieving ever again if he could help it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where to?” he asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just drive and I direct you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK nodded and slowly pulled forward, keeping his eyes trained on the road. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe, just maybe these people were more reasonable than they seemed and maybe this wouldn’t end in disaster, TK thought to himself as he pulled out of the parking garage and headed to the right as instructed. They just need to keep everything calm until help arrived. Because it would, TK was sure of it. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ride there was filled with tense silence, their combined anxiety filling the car to capacity and leaving no room for words. Carlos kept an eye on the phone in his hand, the small blue dot tracing their location and showing their progress as they grew closer and closer to the destination flag. They were almost there. They would have answers soon, one way or another. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He spared a glance at Owen. The fire captain’s eyes were glued to the road and his hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles shining white against the black upholstery. His jaw was set and his expression was full of a panic Carlos was sure was reflected in his own face. He wondered if Owen was thinking the same thing: things had been going so well. Possibly too well, and now the universe was looking to even the score. Carlos hated the thought — TK deserved all the good things the world had to offer, in his opinion — but it was one he couldn’t help but wonder. He just hoped that no matter what, TK would be okay. No matter what the universe was trying to throw at them as long as he was safe at the end, Carlos could take it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reaching the parking garage had been the easy part, it turned out. He and Owen drove the levels in tense silence, each scanning for any clues, any signs of the missing paramedics. It wasn’t until he saw a black panel van parked haphazardly that Carlos broke the tense silence: “Stop the car!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Owen did and Carlos was out his door before the car had even lurched to a complete stop. He ran to the van, heart sinking as he noticed the back doors hanging open. He approached with increased trepidation, not sure what he was hoping to find. When he reached the back and got his first look inside the van, he was pretty sure this wasn’t it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bloody gauze and other medical scraps littered the ground, along with three broken cell phones, all of which seemed to have been smashed. Carlos could feel dread building in his gut as he surveyed the destruction. He sensed Owen come up behind him, heard the low curse he let out at the scene. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s no saying any of the blood is theirs,” he reminded Carlos as if he could read the frantic thoughts racing through his mind, each possibility worse than the last. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos bit back a retort — there was no good in reminding Owen that there was no saying it wasn’t either — and was about to ask another question when he noticed something silver poking out from under one of the gauze scraps. He leaned forward to grab it, heart sinking when he pulled it out to reveal a very familiar necklace. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe,” he told Owen as he turned, holding up the necklace while the FDNY pendant glinting in the low light of the parking garage, “but they were definitely here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos hadn’t been sure it was possible but he was certain he saw the fear in Owen’s eyes grow as he took the necklace from Carlos, running his thumb over the numbers engraved in the pendant. “He left this as a clue,” he said quietly, and Carlos nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Which probably means they were taken somewhere else and TK wanted us to know they were here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Owen nodded, pulling his gaze up from the necklace to meet Carlos’s eyes, “We need to find them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His voice was tinged in desperation, a feeling Carlos knew well. He nodded and reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone as he took another look at the mess in the back of the van. “We will,” he told Owen, “and I think I know someone that can help.” </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their destination had turned out to be an abandoned restaurant, shuttered by the pandemic. As workspaces went it wasn’t a bad one, if a little dusty, and they got their patient set up on a prep table in no time, falling into their usual rhythm as they returned to this relative familiarity. TK was currently retrieving supplies from one of their cases and running through the situation in his head, separating it into pros and cons. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pro: they had come here in an ambulance with their house number clearly painted on it in broad daylight. Once people started looking it shouldn’t be too hard to spot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Con: they were deep into a neighborhood known for being an entertainment district. While traffic had decreased significantly overall since the start of the pandemic it was nearly non-existent this early in the day. The odds of a casual observer being in the neighborhood were slim to none, which was not a thought that brought much comfort. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man shouted at him to hurry up and TK quickly added another con to his list as he grabbed the last thing and crossed back to the table: their kidnappers were not reasonable people and every moment that passed seemed to push them just that much closer to the edge. Even as he thought it the woman edged closer to Nancy, causing her to tense as the cold metal of the gun was pressed against her side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” he said firmly, “if you want us to save your friend, you need to let us work. That means you and your guns should be at least 6 feet away. It’s a little hard to focus otherwise.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The woman glanced at the man, who was studying TK. TK met his gaze steadily, not looking away until the man nodded and turned to his companion, “Go wait by the door, just in case. They’re not going anywhere.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded and TK could breathe easier as she stepped away from Nancy, who visibly relaxed and shot TK a grateful look. Tommy eyed him quickly before returning her focus to the patient. “I appreciate what you’re doing, Strand, but in the future maybe let’s try to not antagonize the criminals with guns, yeah?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK nodded as he worked, “Sorry Cap, I just really don’t like guns. Chalk it up to bad personal experience.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nancy grimaced at the reminder and Tommy nodded, “Then let's keep this calm, no one needs to get shot today. I’m not losing another member of my crew, you both got that?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes Cap,” TK and Nancy chorused, lapsing into silence as they worked. Unfortunately, with their supplies, there was only so much they could do. They had had a busy morning before this call had come in and no time to restock in between. They were running low on pretty much everything, and everything they had would have hardly been enough to repair the damage before them on a good day. But, despite everything, he was still a patient and he was still in need of treatment so they did what they always did: everything they could. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even as they worked TK made sure to keep one eye on their kidnappers. With each passing minute, they seemed to get more and more restless, and increasingly desperate. The woman even seemed twitchy and TK vaguely wondered if she was going through withdrawal. All the signs were there and if she was that made their situation even worse. TK knew how that felt first hand and knew what it could do to a person’s mental state. The idea that she might be coming down from a high and was currently pointing a gun at them was less than ideal and he mentally added it to his con list. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Surprisingly, she wasn’t the one to crack first. TK was helping Captain Vega to do what they could to clean and secure the entry wound when the man stepped closer, waving the gun around as he shouted, “What is taking so long? We’ve been here too long, we need to get moving!”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want it done right or do you want it done fast?” Tommy asked evenly, her voice calm and level. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man scowled at that, but stepped away, “Just, go as fast as you can.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK watched him walk away, glancing at the clock above the door and cursing before running his free hand across his face, the hand holding the gun tapping against his leg. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s spiraling Cap,” TK noted softly, “we might need a plan if you want to avoid that whole one of us getting shot thing.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And we’ll find one,” Tommy agreed, “but for now we stick with the original one: do our jobs and keep calm.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK nodded tersely and continued with the task at hand. It was only a few more moments before his Captain gave a soft curse and he looked over to see her scowling at the bag next to her. “We’re out of saline,” she said in answer to his questioning look, “can you go see if there is any more in that bag by the door?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK nodded and crossed the bag laying on the ground next to the door they had entered. As he grew closer he noticed that the bag wasn’t the only thing by the door: a fire alarm, bright red against the white of the walls and shining like a beacon of hope as he drew closer, was situated on the wall just past the bag. If he could reach it and pull it, dispatch would be notified. A fire company and at least one APD unit would be called and the alarm might be enough of a distraction for them to get out of here and get somewhere safe until help arrived. He threw a quick glance over his shoulder to see that the two armed assailants were not watching him and made up his mind. He was going to pull it, and hope for the best. If it doesn’t work it’ll have been his idea and his idea alone — the rest of his team doesn't need to be involved in this. This was a stupid choice he could make for himself and by himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stepped forward, hardly daring to breathe as he drew closer. He was just about to reach out his hand when he heard footsteps behind him, loud and fast. He turned in time to see a hand reaching for him, aiming to strike him with the side of the gun. He ducked, the hand missing his target as he dodged the blow. The man came for him again and TK managed to dodge the next blow as well, and the one after that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They moved away from the wall and TK had the frantic thought that maybe he could get the gun away from him, maybe he could actually get the upper hand. He reached for it, throwing himself into the man’s space and reaching around for his arm. He leaned closer, so intent on his goal that he didn’t notice the man rummaging on the nearby shelf with his free hand. He didn’t notice his other hand at all until a sharp pain ripped through his side, causing him to release his grip on the other man involuntarily. He stumbled back, hands reaching blindly to the source of the pain coursing through his body. He felt a warm and sticky wetness and was about to lift his hand to examine it when he felt another sharp pain which caused his vision to go white before everything went black and he knew no more. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos hadn’t had to say too much before his dad had agreed to help out. One of the perks of being a Ranger, Gabriel reminded his son, was getting to choose the cases he focused on from time to time. He wasn’t sure if it was the words he had said or the tone of his voice that had done the convincing but within two minutes his dad had taken down the address and was on his way. He had said he was likely 10 minutes out but each one of those minutes seemed to stretch on endlessly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He and Owen waited in tense silence, neither saying a word since Carlos had hung up the phone with the news that a Texas Ranger was on the case. Owen had raised an eyebrow but after Carlos clarified that it was his dad his expression had shifted to something unreadable and Carlos wondered how much Owen knew about his parental situation in regards to TK. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t have to wait long to find out, as it happened. About 4 minutes into their wait, after Owen had made a phone call to Gwyn and Carlos had sent out some updates to the team, Owen cleared his throat, turning to Carlos before he spoke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to pry, Carlos, but TK mentioned something about you and your parents a few months ago and I just want to know where that stands. I don’t want to make things weird for you, but I also don’t want to accidentally reveal any information you’re not okay with.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos nodded, feeling a rush of appreciation for the older man’s tact as he responded, “They know I’m gay,” he told Owen plainly, “but they don’t know I’m in a relationship. They’ve never known about any of my relationships, we just don’t talk about it. When TK and I ran into them at the farmer’s market I introduced him as a friend and as far as they know that’s the truth.” Carlos turned to see Owen’s reaction, not sure what to expect. Anger maybe? Frustration or upset? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he did turn he didn’t see any of those. Instead, the older man’s face was neutral as he nodded. “They won’t find out otherwise from me,” Owen promised him, and Carlos nodded his thanks, letting out a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding. He was surprised, however, when Owen continued talking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know it’s not my place to tell you how to interact with your parents,” he began, “but for what it’s worth, I would never want TK to keep something that was important to him from me because he was worried it might make me upset or uncomfortable. From everything you and TK have said about your parents, I wouldn’t be surprised if they felt the same way.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos could feel Owen’s gaze on him, steady and reassuring despite everything, and he nodded. He could feel Owen’s words rattling inside his head, but there was no way to process them right now, not when the fear of possibly losing TK and the worry that his danger-prone boyfriend was missing was so soundly occupying the forefront of his thoughts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was still trying to parse through it all when he heard the sound of a vehicle approaching. He stood as he recognized his dad’s truck, crossing to meet him as he pulled to a stop. “Thank you,” he told his dad as he stepped out, “I really appreciate this.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anything for you, mijo,” his dad assured him with a smile, “all you have to do is ask. Which you rarely do, which tells me this is pretty important.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s something else there, in his dad’s words and his expression, that tells Carlos that his dad knows there is something Carlos isn’t telling him, but he ignores it. It didn’t matter right now — nothing mattered except for finding TK. “Still,” he says instead before turning to Owen who has been hovering at the back of the van. “This is TK’s dad, Captain Owen Strand of the 126.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Captain,” Gabriel says with a nod, “I wish it were under better circumstances.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Likewise,” Owen replies quickly before diving right in. “Were you able to find out anything yet?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually yes,” Gabriel admitted and Carlos tensed at the expression on his dad’s face. It was the one he used when he tried to break bad news gently. “We think we may have identified the suspects. There was a bank robbery this morning and the suspects fled in a van matching the description Carlos gave me. There were three suspects — two who entered the bank and one getaway driver — and bank security thinks that they hit one of them while exchanging fire as they fled.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was so much information trying to squeeze into Carlos’s head now. None of it was good but one fact jumped out amongst the others. The suspects had exchanged fire with the security guards which meant…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re armed,” he said tersely, the dread he had already been feeling threatening to overtake him now, “the suspects are armed.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And they needed the paramedics to treat their partner,” his dad agreed grimly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do we know anything about what kind of shape the injured suspect was in?” Owen asked and Carlos could tell that his mind had gone to the same place his own had: if the paramedics were not able to save the injured bank robber, things didn’t look great for them. Their best hope was for a minor injury but judging by the amount of bloody gauze in the back of the van and the fact that it was a gunshot wound the chances for that were slim to non-existent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel shook his head, “No, and the security cams in this parking garage are just for show, I already had someone check.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So TK and his team were being held at gunpoint, being asked to provide medical care that should be done in a trauma room, and there was no way of saying where they had been taken or if they were okay. Carlos could feel his chest tighten in panic as the hopelessness of the situation set in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are there any leads?” he asked, not even bothering to hide the desperation in his voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, they did leave in an ambulance, and that’s not exactly subtle,” his dad reminded him bracingly. “We’ve put out a bulletin — every cop, sheriff, and ranger will be looking for it. We’ll find them, mjio.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos nodded because he didn’t trust himself to speak and because he desperately needed it to be true. They needed to find them, and TK needed to be okay. Nothing short of that would be enough. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK knew he was somewhere he shouldn’t be, but he couldn’t seem to do anything about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were voices nearby, but TK couldn’t process any of them. Some of them sounded familiar but others were foreign; unknown with a hostile edge. He tried to open his eyes, to try and take stock of his surroundings but all he could see were vague and blurry shapes. He thought that someone called his name but he couldn’t bring himself to answer. The only thing he knew for sure was that he was in pain, and he was in danger. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The pull of the darkness was stronger than any fear or curiosity, however, and it washed back over him without hesitation, pulling him back under.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riding in his dad’s truck with his dad and Owen Strand would have been awkward on a good day but today, with his mind full of fear for TK and the tension of the secret between them all, it was unbearable. Carlos couldn’t stop his leg from bouncing anxiously against the floor — the exact same nervous tick he teased TK about on an almost daily basis. The irony wasn’t lost on him, or Owen it seemed as the man leaned forward from the back seat to put a steadying hand on his shoulder, empathetic eyes meeting his own in the rearview. Gabriel kept up a steady stream of one-sided chatter, undaunted by the lack of response from his traveling companions. Every once in a while his radio would crackle to life and Carlos could swear that he could feel his heart seize each and every time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But every time it was the same: no news, no one had spotted the ambulance yet. Crime scene techs had scoured the van and surrounding area, pulling fingerprints and looking for anything else that could give them a lead on who these people were and where they may have gone. Carlos knew all too well that criminals, especially ones involved in crimes that took as much planning as a bank robbery did, were creatures of habit. If they had somewhere they felt was safe and secluded enough, they would go there. It was up to them to find it.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>Carlos knew that his anxiety had not gone unnoticed by his father. He sent him surreptitious glances from time to time, in between radio updates and idle chatter.</span> <span>Finally, he asked a question: “You really care about this TK, don’t you?” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The opening was there, Carlos could see it. A part of his mind told him his dad must too, to open the door so plainly. But the fear of what could happen, of what he has convinced himself he stands to lose is too much. There was already so much fear in his heart from this nightmare he was trapped in, he can’t stand any more. So he nodded and simply answered, “Yeah, I do.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tried not to notice the disappointment and pity he could feel from all sides as Owen met his eyes again in the mirror. But his boyfriend’s father stayed silent as promised and Carlos looked away, turning his attention to the window instead. He knew he needed to tell them, he had been coming closer to making that decision on his own with each passing day. Now he just had to hope that they both survived this one and that there would still be something to tell at the end of it all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His pessimistic spiral was interrupted by the familiar crackle of the radio. He listened absently as his dad grabbed it and at the words that came in response. At least he was only listening absently until some of the words processed in his mind: “Ambulance 126 has been spotted in an alley off W. Fourth St.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His heart was working on beating its way out of his chest now. He sat upright, looking around frantically to get their bearings. They were only a few blocks east of West Fourth, they could be there in minutes. He relayed this to his dad who nodded before flipping on his lightbar and heading in the direction of the address provided. As they drove Carlos sent his desperate hopes out to the universe. Let them all be okay, let them actually be in or at least nearby the ambulance. Above all, let TK be safe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they sped through the city that was the thought that Carlos played on a loop in his head. Let TK be safe, and everything else would be fine </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK came to awareness slowly and at first, the only thing he was truly aware of was the feeling of someone repeatedly tapping his cheek. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cut it out,” he whined and heard a relieved sigh in response. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s awake,” a voice — Nancy? — declared and TK tried to open his eyes. It took several tries but he managed, painstakingly blinking them open to reveal the worried faces of his Captain and his partner staring down at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey guys,” he said as he tried to pull himself into a sitting position, “why the long faces?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Captain Vega looked unimpressed with his efforts and pushed him back down onto the ground. “Don’t try to play nice with me Strand after you did that. Of all the reckless, foolhardy things. I really thought you had more sense than that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK frowned at her, trying to piece together all the uncategorized shapes and sensations floating through his hazy mind, “What do you…” he began, but broke off when a sharp pain ripped through his side and Nancy pressed gauze down onto his side, “oh.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was coming back now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, ‘oh,’” his Captain scoffed, “what were you thinking TK?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was thinking that they were getting more and more unhinged the longer we were here and that if I had been able to pull the fire alarm dispatch would be notified and it would have given us enough of a distraction we could have maybe saved ourselves,” he said defensively, trying hard to sound assertive when even just the dim lights of the kitchen were causing explosions of pain in his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And how did that go for you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not great,” he admitted. “How long was I out?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not too long,” Nancy told him as she lifted up the gauze to check on his stab wound, “and I’ve got the bleeding slowed but this wound is pretty deep. Not to mention the knife did not look particularly sterile so this needs treatment, soon.” She nodded towards the abandoned blood-covered chef’s knife on the ground that the man must have grabbed during their scuffle, and TK groaned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So probable infection,” he muttered, “great.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not to mention with the width of that knife likely some significant damage,” Tomy reminded him, her unimpressed look holding firm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not like I had any way of knowing he was going to find a knife, to be fair.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To be fair, I would think the guns should have been enough of a deterrent,” Tommy countered. “Wasn’t getting shot once enough for you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK shifted uncomfortably under his Captain’s gaze and was about to fire back a retort when Nancy interrupted, “Can you both knock it off? Yes, that was incredibly stupid TK and if you weren’t already hurt I probably would have hit you myself. But it was also pretty brave, Cap, and he meant well. Either way, arguing about it is not going to change the fact that we’re still being held hostage and TK is still hurt so maybe it would be best if you both stopped, for my sanity if nothing else.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gave them both a hard look and TK did his best approximation of a nod with his throbbing head, not eager to be on his partner’s bad side. Tommy nodded as well, though the look she gave TK promised that they would be revisiting this later, assuming there was a later. He cleared his throat and glanced towards the table where their patient was still laid out, “How is he?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stable, for now,” Tommy answered, following his gaze. “He’s going to need more blood than we can give him though: his friends don’t know his blood type and we only have so much O neg on hand.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK nodded, reading in between the lines of what his Captain wasn’t saying: he didn’t have much longer and if he didn’t, neither did they. “What are the others up to?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Arguing,” Nancy said softly, “about what to do with us.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK turned his gaze to them and though he couldn’t hear their words, he had a feeling he knew what they were saying and it wasn’t good. His suspicions were confirmed a few moments later when they approached. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s enough of that,” the man informed them, gesturing roughly to where Nancy was tending to TK’s stab wound, “get away from him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He needs—” Nancy tried to argue, but TK put a hand on her arm and gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile before holding out a hand for the supplies.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” he told her, “I can handle it from here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t look impressed or convinced, but a wave of the gun prompted her to hand them over and pull herself up from the floor, stepping in the direction indicated by the woman. The man looked down at TK with disdain, “You’re done causing trouble,” he announced, “Because if you do it again, I will start shooting, but I won’t be aiming at you. Got it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK swallowed and nodded. What else could he really say to that? He wasn’t about to risk his team’s safety for anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” the man declared with a nod, “glad we’re on the same page.” He turned to Nancy and Tommy now, “Is he stable enough to be moved right now?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s as stable as we can make him with what we have on hand,” Tommy told him calmly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then we’re moving,” he declared, “we have another van stashed nearby. We’re going to move out,” he gestured towards himself and his companion, “and we’re taking our friend and this one with us.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When all eyes turned to him TK realized “this one” meant him with a start. Which was...less than ideal, but at least he would know that the other two were out of danger and could probably get help. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely not,” Tommy said in her firmest tone, “he’s injured, he needs treatment.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Which is why I know he’ll be no trouble,” the man countered, “plus he’s a paramedic, isn’t he? He can treat himself. I’ll let you give him some supplies, I’m not unreasonable.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK could practically see Tommy’s anger rising from his position on the floor and he spoke up before his Captain could say anymore, “It’s okay Cap,” he said, hoping his voice sounded more sure out loud than it did to his own ears, “I’ll be fine.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy turned her gaze to him and was more likely than not going to tell him how many ways that was not happening, but any arguments she may have made were abruptly cut off by the sound of the door banging open and a barrage of police officers entering the scene, guns raised. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK let himself sag against the wall in relief as he saw their two assailants surrounded and even more when he spotted a familiar gaze in the crowd, filled with fear and worry as it grew closer to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carlos,” he said quietly, managing to pull a small smile to his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Ty,” Carlos said roughly, reaching out to run a hand through his hair even as he surveyed him for damage. His eyes widened and his jaw clenched as he spotted the bloody gauze poking out from underneath his hand just above his hip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He reached for it, but TK called his name softly before shaking his head ever so slightly, “leave it be, I’ll be fine. I’m just so happy to see you.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos looked like he wanted to argue but he bit his lip, turning instead to the crowd behind them. TK followed his gaze and froze when he spotted Gabriel Reyes amongst the officers. He pulled away from Carlos ever so slightly, “Your dad…” he began, but Carlos shook his head, gripping TK hands tighter, not letting him pull away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t matter right now,” he told him, “all that matters is that you’re safe.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK had so many questions, but his head was swimming. He wasn’t sure if it was the blood loss or the head injury, but it was getting harder and harder to follow a fluid thought. He opened his mouth to try and ask any of them but was saved from the trouble of doing that by his dad appearing at his side, expression anxious as he kneeled down. He looked him over before calling over his shoulder for a medic and TK tried really hard to follow what was happening but it was becoming so much harder with each passing moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was so disoriented he almost missed the commotion that erupted around them. All he knew was that Carlos’s hand was suddenly gone from his and he blinked several times, forcing himself to focus on what was happening around them. The woman had somehow managed to free herself of the officer cuffing her and had managed to grab her gun again. She was waving it frantically and shouting, but her words were a blur to TK. All he could focus on now was the fact that Carlos was closest to her, and that he was stepping closer to her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That he was standing firmly between her and TK. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rest of the world might be a blur of noise and light but this was clear as day. Carlos was stepping towards the woman, hands raised as he tried to speak calmly to her. But TK knew in his heart that he had been right about her state and knew that there would be no reasoning with her. But he also knew that Carlos would try, because that’s what Carlos did. He helped people, no matter what. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next moment happened in a blink of an eye but TK saw it as if in slow motion. Carlos took a step forward, his soothing voice still speaking to her, still vibrating its way through the air as another sound erupted between them, eclipsing Carlos’s voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the sound of a gun firing and TK could do nothing but watch in horror as Carlos’s stride faltered before he stumbled. He could do nothing but try to call out his name with whatever breath he still had in his lungs as Carlos went down, and he could do nothing but feel his heart shatter when he didn’t get up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK tried to go to him, tried to push himself off the ground. He needed to help, he needed to save Carlos. But his body wouldn’t listen. The pain in his side sliced through him again with a vengeance and the last thing TK saw was Carlos’s unmoving body before his vision faded to black and he knew no more; left with the worst sight he had ever seen in his life as company as he fell into the darkness.  </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos woke slowly, bits and pieces of his surroundings making themselves known to him and helping to fill in the blanks in his mind: he was in the hospital, he had been hurt, he had been searching for TK…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that was the thought that brought him back to consciousness. He opened his eyes with a gasp, feeling hands on him instantly. “TK,” he tried to ask, “is he…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Relax, mijo,” his dad told him soothingly, “TK is safe. He just woke up from his own surgery a short while ago. His dad assures me that he’s fine, and asking about you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos took a deep breath and willed his heartbeat to slow. TK was alive, they had found him. He was hurt, but he was doing okay and Owen was with him. That did answer a lot of his questions, but there were still so many left. Starting with, “What happened?” he asked his dad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel settled into the chair at the side of the bed, leaving a hand on Carlos’s arm as he studied him, “What do you remember, Carlos?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I remember TK and his team going missing, calling you, and finding them. After that, not much.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel nodded and his hand on Carlos’s arm tightened, “One of the kidnappers, the woman, went a little crazy when your colleagues tried to bring her in. She freed herself from the officer’s trying to cuff her and you were closest. Well,” he amended, “you and TK. But you put yourself between them and tried to talk her down. It…” his dad broke off, clearing his throat and continuing with a thick voice, “it didn’t go well. You were shot, Carlos, right in front of me. I was so scared I was going to lose you, mijo. You cannot scare me like that, I am an old man.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite it all, Carlos chuckled, “Please, you are not </span>
  <em>
    <span>old</span>
  </em>
  <span> dad. There are 20-year-olds older than you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His teasing didn’t put a dent into his father’s upset, and Carlos sobered, “I’m sorry,” he said instead, “that can’t have been easy. I know what it’s like to see someone you care about hurt like that. I’m sorry you had to see that, dad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel shook his head, leaning forward again, “You have nothing to apologize for Carlos,” he said firmly, “you only did what you thought was best, what you needed to do to protect the man you love.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos’s breath caught in his throat and his eyes widened, but his dad held his gaze, a small smile playing on his lips, “You are not subtle, mijo. I had a feeling since this all started, but the moment I saw you with him, I knew.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I kept this from you and mom,” Carlos apologized softly, “that I lied to you when we met at the Farmer’s Market.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop apologizing Carlos,” Gabriel instructed, his tone matching his son’s, “you have nothing to apologize for. If anyone should be apologizing I think it should be me. Clearly, I did something or said something that made you feel like you couldn’t share this and for that I am so, so sorry. I never wanted you to feel like you had to hide anything from us, especially not this. I’m...” he trailed off and Carlos was surprised to see tears in his dad’s eyes, “I’m just sorry,” Gabriel finished, “I need you to know that. That and the fact that both your mother and I love you so much, no matter what.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do know that,” Carlos assured him, “I never doubted that for a second.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His father smiled at him and Carlos could feel a weight that had been subtly resting on him for nearly 10 years lifted. He met his father’s eyes and returned the smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dad,” he said clearly, with a confidence that had been so many years coming, “I have a boyfriend. His name is TK Strand, and I love him. He means everything to me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m happy for you Carlos,” his father told him, a soft smile covering his face, “you deserve nothing but the most wonderful love the world has to offer, and I hope this boy can give you that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He can,” Carlos assured him, “he does.” </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK was staring moodily at the dark ceiling of his hospital room. Yes, he was beyond grateful to have been rescued and that his teammates were safe. They had just been by actually — both women very clear that they would stab him themselves next time if he ever tried to do something so reckless again — and he had been happy to see them. Just as he had his parents and his friends, all who had stopped by before the doctor informed them all that he needed rest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was all wonderful and he was grateful, but the one person he wanted to see more than anyone else — that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed </span>
  </em>
  <span>to see — was in a room of his own on the other side of the hospital. He had been assured by multiple reliable sources that he was fine: awake and alert and recovering nicely from his gsw (fuck, Carlos had been </span>
  <em>
    <span>shot. </span>
  </em>
  <span>That was a thought and a memory that was going to haunt him for a while, he knew it). But he had been denied any and all requests of seeing him with his own eyes due to his concussion — hence the dark room as light still wreaked havoc on his head — and the antibiotics slowly dripping their way into his system in an effort to cut off any possible infection from the dirty knife blade before it had a chance to take root. Which, as a paramedic, he recognized was reasonable. If it were anyone else he would have recommended the same. But it wasn’t anyone else. It was him and it was Carlos, and TK needed to see him with his own eyes before he could believe that he was really alright. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Since that was beyond his control, that left him with pouting about it in the dark, which is what he intended to do about it for the foreseeable future.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A soft knock at his door interrupted his plans and when he turned his head in the direction of the door, his breath caught in his throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carlos,” he breathed, his name emerging from his lips like a prayer as the other man gave him a small, tired smile from his wheelchair in the door. Behind him stood his father, looking at TK with a smile that told him everything he needed to know. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He waited as Gabriel pushed the wheelchair into the room, reaching out for Carlos, taking his hand in his own as soon as they were close enough to touch. He moved to the side of the bed, leaning over and meeting Carlos in a soft, tender kiss that he hoped did something to relay even a portion of the emotions he was feeling. They pulled apart and he met Carlos’s eyes, studying them and him for any signs that he wasn’t okay, but his study was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. He looked up, startled, to see Carlos’s father watching them with a bemused expression. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will leave you both alone,” he promised, “but first I just wanted to take a moment to meet you properly, TK. I am very glad you are okay.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, sir,” TK said warmly, still clutching Carlos’s hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel shook his head, “None of that ‘sir’ business now,” he told him, “as far as I’m concerned we’re family now. Call me Gabriel, please.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well Gabriel, TK said lightly, “I am happy to meet you, officially.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grinned at Carlos, he matched his expression without a second thought. Gabriel watched the pair of them, smile growing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I would love to talk more with you TK, take some time to get to know you, but I know when I’m not wanted so we’ll take care of that later. Just remember Carlos,” he told his son, voice suddenly firm, “you’re injured too. Don’t overdo it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes dad, thanks.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel gave them both a smile and with an affectionate squeeze of Carlos’s shoulder, he was gone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So,” TK said as he watched the older man walk away, “you told him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos scoffed, “I didn’t have to. He spent all day with me, looking for you. He figured it out pretty quickly.” He paused here, swallowing thickly as he looked back at TK, “God Ty, I was so scared. I don’t know what I would have done…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK cut him off, pressing a hand against his face, “Hey, none of that. We’re both okay, and that’s what matters.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But even as he said it, he could feel his voice waver. The last memory he had before blacking out of Carlos collapsing after being shot would be forever ingrained in his memories, a vision he was sure would come back to haunt him for many nights to come. Carlos leaned forward now, placing a hand on top of TK’s and pulling it away from his face so he could twist their fingers together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Same goes for you,” he said firmly, as if he knew where TK’s mind had gone. Because of course he did. It was Carlos, and TK knew there was no part of him that was a mystery to the other man.   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, remember when you said being a Paramedic would be less dangerous than being a firefighter?” TK quipped in an attempt to lighten the mood and Carlos rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Only you could manage to prove that wrong,” Carlos fired back, his voice a blend of fondness and exasperation. “Maybe you can try not to keep proving that wrong though, for my sake?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess I could try,” TK said softly, “if only for you. I love you an awful lot, you know.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos leaned forward and pulled him into a kiss with more heat than before. It was warm and bright and so full of everything TK had been so afraid of losing for good. When they pulled apart, both breathing heavier and both leaning in, resting their foreheads on each other, Carlos responded, “I love you so much, Tyler Kennedy. Don’t you ever get kidnapped on me again.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll do my best,” TK promised, “but I know that if I do, you’d come find me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I always will,” Carlos assured him, squeezing their linked hands, “no matter what.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Come find me on <a href="https://marjansmarwani.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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